Saturday, April 05, 2008


We're home.

There's a hole here...a big one.

I don't know how to fill it. He's missing and I hurt.

The tears started as soon as the plane touched down. Waves and waves and waves of ache.

Our little girl dog is so not OK. She crawled to the door when we came home. She's scared. She's going to be coming everywhere with us. I can't bear to leave her.

The Big Boy is very sick. Major league flu sick. In bed feverish can't even think sick. #1 and #3 show signs of possibly heading that way. Moan. I need to fall apart and I have to be the one holding it together. Somehow I have to hold it together. Some one has to hold it together. Us together. Right now I need to be strong. Steel. Stone.


sopranospinner said...

So sorry about all your difficulties all at once! When we lost our cat, we were out having a picnic in the back yard (me and my 2 small people) and came back in to find her. It was awful. And I sympathize with your friends left at home to deal with it. Such a terrible situation for all! Hope the big boy is feeling better soon, too.

Soprano Spinner in Tennessee

Deborah said...

Stopped in from Sock Madness to say some "encouraging words" about knitting, but I'm changing my tune. Backtracked a bit to figure out what was going on. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your family's beloved Willy. And flu too. Time for quiet and healing. Just hold on tight.

~jane said...

How awful to have everything coming at you at once - and just when you wanted to finish your socks. Take care of yourself and your family! You can always knit socks... I'll give you a big hug on the cruise! Hang on, strong one. Only a month to go - maybe that will be your focus.

nuttnbunny said...

Oh honey!!!

Carole Knits said...

I'm so sorry.

pacalaga said...

Keep up the knitting when you can, whether you compete or not - it's meditative and it helps to calm the soul a little.
Then later when the DH is home, tell him you're going to go have a breakdown, lock the bedroom door, and lose it for a while.

pacalaga said...

Oh wait... Big Boy = husband? Crap. That won't work.